"Individuals who engage in blogging and building coalitions around social and political projects have an increased sense of self in positive ways because they connect with people who really understand them." - David W. Johnson Reaching Out: Interpersonal Effectiveness and Self-Actualization
It's so hard to find time to blog in this crazy life of mine but it's just something I have to make time for because it is a way to vent and relax for me.
I've had a couple of you ask me to write again!
So, here ya have it.
After finishing my psychology of personalities class last quarter and entering my Psychology of Interpersonal Effectiveness & Self Actualization course, I have learned how healthy and self benefiting it is to understand yourself more thoroughly.
We are structured, conformed, molded and lectured daily on what we are suppose to be, how we are suppose to think, and what we are suppose to know.
If you know me well, you know I am a deep thinker and like to provoke new ways of analyzing situations and draw away from the "social norm." Call me an individualist but this is how I believe to stay truest to myself.
It is easy to overlook that the root of our thinking process and beliefs narrows down to something quite simple and pure yet so diverse and complex.
The better you understand yourself, the better you will be able to fulfill your goals and find what you believe to be successful. (Note: everyone has a different idea of success. Accept that.)
Throughout studying my personality in my psychology class I learned a lot about myself that helped me not only understand my own actions and beliefs better but it helped me understand others, as well.
With that said, I think one of the first things you can do to understand yourself better is to make a list of what you like about yourself and what you don't like.
I decided to take on this writing prompt just for the fun of it and share it with others to encourage you to do the same.
Here is a list of 10 things I like about myself and 10 things I don't like about myself. May be both psychological and physical.
I'll start with the negative so we can end this on a positive note. (:
1) I can't stand how impatient I am. I don't like to wait around. I am always tapping my foot. I don't like to wait on others. I get told all the time how independent I am which yes, this can be a good thing in some cases. But it's mostly because I am a control freak and like to do things my way. If someone else is in control of me, it makes me uneasy. Also, it is incredibly difficult for me to simply sit still. I like to go, go, go!!!
2) I hate that I hate to read! This may come as a surprise to you because I have told many people about the many books I do love but it takes extreme discipline for me get myself to sit down and open a book. Once I am reading a good book I can be entertained but the moment I loose interest, the book gets set aside. There are several books I've never finished just because if I find it boring I feel as if its a waste of time and that I could be missing out on something that excites me. Life is too short.
3) I can't stand how much guilt and obsession I harbor when it comes to eating and exercising. I'm so obsessed with what I eat, every time I am about to place food in my mouth I have already stressed over the calorie intake and how long I am going to have to run on the treadmill to burn it off or if I can eat it depending on what else I have ate that day. And even though I have told myself repeatedly NOBODY CARES, I constantly stress over what I eat/drink in front of people because I feel judged for it. And trust me I know how stupid that sounds. It sounds stupid to me.
4) It frustrates me how sensitive I am. I wish I was one of those "badass" chicks that doesn't care what anyone thinks about them and comes across incredibly heartless and unbreakable. But as much as I have tried to convert myself to being as such, I fail. The people I do care about (this obviously excludes people I don't care about) I don't ever want to upset. I always want to leave people with good vibes after having met me. When I feel as if I have disappointed or had a falling out with someone, I harbor it for months. The stress of some of these situations is unmanageable for me sometimes and I let it steal way too much joy from me. However, sometimes this does not fall into play with people I have no respect for.
5) I probably fall in the same category as many girls in our society but I wish I liked my body. I have expressed this in previous blog posts so I am sorry for the repetition but since middle school I have struggled with finding a positive body image of myself. I wish I had longer legs, bigger breasts, tighter tummy, banish my "love handles", and thinner thighs... yadda, yadda, yadda. And my obsession with meeting this impossible body type drives me mad. (However I can say I am improving, I definitely love my body more now than I did a few years ago.)
6) I am way too hard on myself. My parents and friends tell me this all the time and I know I am. I just can't seem to help it. I can make one little mistake and I'll blow it out of proportion or dwell on it for days. I'll regret and replay incidents over and over in my head brainstorming how I can handle it differently next time. Maybe this is just the drama queen living within me.
7) I over think EVERYTHING. I seriously drive myself mad, every text, comment, word exchanged, or any kind of communication for that matter. I believe my major (communication studies) has driven me to over analyze any form of communication sent my way. I am always trying to read "between the lines." And I've learned that most the time I do, I assume things that are invalid. Usually worst case scenarios.
8) My feetsies! Don't ever let me catch you starring at me feet or I might flip out and find the nearest pair of socks.
9) I am a hopeless romantic. I love a good love story and I love the idea of being someone's love story. However, I use to be very naive when it came to the idea. Falling hopelessly "in love" with the first person I met. This has burned me in more ways than one. Since then I guard my heart and by doing so I usually assume the worst in every guy that comes my way. This is to protect myself from disappointment. This is also a bad habit. I wish there was someway I could find a happy medium between the two. Until then, my Prince Charming awaits.
10) I know how to hold a grudge. If someone does me wrong or breaks my trust, I am notorious for "holding a grudge" for quite some time. In some cases, possibly years. I do not like this about myself, I want to be more forgiving with people.
(How strange is it that writing all my "dislikes" just rolled off my tongue but now sitting here trying to come up with my "likes" is rather difficult...)
Thanks to the help of my best friend, Lexie, I was able to come up with these "likes."
1) I've been told I am easily approachable. I put off a friendly vibe. People find it easy to vent to me because I don't come across as judgmental and could listen for hours. I've actually had several people say to me, "wow, I've never told anyone this before or I know it is random me coming to you but I just feel like you understand me." I am very understanding and very much a people person. The more people that tell me this, the more it warms my heart because it's what I love and it's actually what I study as well.
2) On that note, I am a social butterfly! I don't stick to one clique! I don't believe in cliques because if you stick to one group of friends I believe that could make you narrow minded. I believe the more diversity you have in your social life, the more you are susceptible to learning. I have two best friends that know all ends and odds of me and then I have a broad social network!
3) I am typically not shy! When it comes to meeting new people I am usually myself because my motto is, "you can take it or leave it." If you take it then we probably have something in common and will make great friends. If you leave it then we probably weren't cut out to be friends in the first place and now we know. However, there are rare settings where I can be shy. Usually if I am the odd man out or intimidated by someone new.
4) I love being active! I love exercising, long distance running, yoga, swimming, exploring the out doors, etc. It is not hard to get myself to the gym because I throughly enjoy it. I am thankful this comes easy to me because I know how hard our nation struggles with it.
5) I am a dare devil and a thrill seeker! Anything that gives me a good adrenaline rush I am all for! Sky diving, swimming with sharks, cliff diving, motorcycles, surfing, wake boarding, parasailing, so on & so on, these are all things I've done and didn't have to think twice about.
6) For the most part I have a pretty easy going personality. I am very "go with the flow"ish! I am always up for trying new things. I get told a lot I am easy to get along with. Want to go on a spontaneous road trip? I am all in! (just as long as I am the driver, haha back to my control freakish ways.)
7) Not to linger too much on this subject matter because clearly I believe being single is best for me right now but I think I make a good girlfriend and hopefully wife someday. I am very loyal! I am so loyal that my mom has even told me I need to loosen up sometimes when in previous relationships. I take loyalty very seriously. I am not the jealous type. It would take something extremely hurtful to make me jealous which would probably leave you in the dust anyways. You can drag me out on the dance floor and we can two-step all night or we can stay in, get sick off pizza and watch a movie. Both make me equally as happy.
8) Because I am so sensitive, I have a big heart. I really care about people. I want to fix everyones problems and take away everyones pain. This has burned me in some ways because I care about people who may not care about me. But I do it anyways. If the people around me are happy, I am happy! (:
9) I am not afraid of confrontation. (this could also go under dislikes because sometimes it has bad outcomes (like talking back to the police) but most are positive!) If I feel someone has done something unjust or said something cruel, I am not afraid to put you in your place, so watch out! (; However, with work environments, group projects, or roommate situations I am not afraid to say what needs to be said or what everyone else is thinking for progression to be made!
10) I am generally a happy person! I get told all the time how much people love my smile and laugh! I like to be an optimist. Yes, I struggle with my insecurities and burdens but I tend to rise above them for the most part. I have a blessed life with beautiful family and friends within it.
Well there you have it.
Until next time,