I am a very organized,
scheduled, disciplined, to-do list kind of gal.
So, when it
came to my senior year of high school I did what was up next on the list.
I applied to college.
Where do you even start when it
comes to applying to college?
How do you know where you should
go?
What’s a good fit for you?
What should you even study?
Should I start at a two year?
What’s an AA?
Who would be a good roommate?
Should I do intramural sports?
What clubs do I join?
What differentiates a BA from a BS?
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO FOR THE
REST OF YOUR LIFE?!
But hey, no pressure.
You know the saying, “College isn’t for everyone.”
Yeah, I couldn’t agree more.
College isn’t for everyone and college most definitely was
not for me!
I had ZERO scholarships offered
to me!
Does that make me non-athletic
or academically challenged?
Those were the questions that ran thru my head.
College isn’t for me because...
A)
I am not smart enough.
B)
I am not athletic enough.
C)
And
you know what, I just finished 12 years of school and the last thing I want to
do is go sit in another classroom.
So... the question is why did I go to college?
Well, like I said before; I am disciplined.
I applied to Washington State University, Eastern Washington
University, and Arizona State University.
I attempted to apply to Gonzaga but the application required
a five-page paper on why you want to attend the school and all I could muster
up was a good laugh.
“Forget that!”
Anyway, I got into all the schools I applied to.
(Which is nothing special because just about 90% of
applicants get in.)
Then at random I just decided to go to ASU since it was the
furthest away from the small town I was in a hurry to get out of.
So, now I am graduated and it
seems as if college went by in a blink of an eye.
And you want to know what I
didn’t learn within my 4 years of “higher education?”
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU
GROW UP!!!
So, did I just waste not only 4 years of my life but also a big
pocket full of my parent’s money?
After some long, hard
thinking... the answer to that is no.
I think college taught me a lot. But most of what I learned
in college was outside of the classroom.
You want me to elaborate?
You got it, dude!
Here is what I learned in
college, outside the classroom.
1)
Everyone finishes college at his or her own
pace.
From
pre-K to twelfth grade we are taught that each age group should be reading,
writing,
calculating, talking, walking and maturing on the same time
frame! We take tests and assessments
constantly telling us where we fall
on the scale. It is literally drilled into our brains that if someone
your age is
a step ahead of you then you are behind.
It
took me till my senior year of college to realize graduation wasn’t a race.
Put
the clock down and the comparisons away and just learn for goodness sakes.
We may have
spent twelve years thinking we are either below or above
average but like Dr. Suess said,
“Today
you are you, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is youer
than you.”
22)
Don’t be so focused on the future that you are
absent in the present.
In
college your whole mindset is on the future. I mean that is why you are there,
correct? There are
goals to be met, grades to be made and successes to be
achieved.
In
college I was so worked up on making sure I made all the right choices and was
on the right
path to my future that I was not living in the present.
All
thru middle school I wanted to be in high school.
All
thru high school I wanted to be in college.
And
all thru college I wanted to be in my career.
I
got to the point where I never felt like I had achieve anything because as soon
as I made it to the
next step I was already focused on the next two steps.
What
a soul sucking way to live life, huh?
3)
If someone doesn’t want to play with you, IT’S
OKAY!
In
college it was a fantasy of mine to meet my long lost best friend or my soulmate.
Four
years later, neither one of those became a reality.
My
best friend is from my hometown & I am still single.
I
use to get my feelings hurt so easily when someone didn’t like me. But you know
what that taught
me... Not everyone is going to love us and that’s how it’s
supposed to be. If everyone loved me then
I wouldn’t have any meaningful
or deep friendships & relationships.
Go
find someone who does want to play with you and appreciates what you have
to offer.
THOSE are the people who you should invest your time into.
4)
Who cares what people think of you!
Seriously...
WHO CARES!!!
In
high school it was all about being accepted, cool and popular. You want to know
what’s fun
about being popular?
ABSOLUTELY
NOTHING!
Because
once you’re there, you’ll realize how empty & lonely it is on top.
You have no real friends and it's boring up there.
I
use to really care what people thought about me.
I
always dressed accordingly, watched what I said, remained poise and never
voiced my opinion if
it meant arguing with the leader of the group.
You
know what’s fun, being the leader of your own group!
I
am the host of the Ashlee Show! (haha, sorry for the corniness)
I
finally let my true colors show. I stood up for myself and I voiced my opinion.
I demanded to be
respected. When people have respect for you, you have
respect for yourself. It is so vital to respect
yourself and feel confident in your
skin. Self-actualization without it is impossible.
I
never tell people I changed, I tell people I ENHANCED myself. And that is the truth.
I like who I
am and I am finally at a point in my life where people’s opinion
of me does not define my self
worth.
Do
you know how much fun it is to be the crazy one dancing and singing karaoke
at the bar
compared to the one who just looks pretty sipping a Cosmo?
Well,
speaking from my own personal experience... belting out and interpretative
dancing to
Shania Twain’s “Man. I Feel Like A Women” IS THE
BEST FEELING EVER!
So
seriously, next time grab the microphone and be the star in your own show.
Oh and also, have
the humility to laugh at yourself! I promise you, it will
fill your soul with JOY.
And lastly, there is nothing more intimidating and admirable than someone who is confident!
5)
It takes failure to succeed!
My
first class in college was English 101 and you want to know what the first words
out of my
professor’s mouth were?
“According
to everyone’s testing scores in this room you are all in dumb English
so.... pay
attention.”
I
was hand selected to be put in “dumb” English because of how low my SAT
score was. LOL!
That’s encouraging!!!
But
you know what I did?
I spent countless hours in my professor’s
office after class and the writing help
center with tutors
working on my writing skills and grammar.
I
got an A in the class; upgraded to “smart people” English 102 and now I write
blog entries as a
hobby.
(And
no my blogs are not perfectly written but they are a hell of a lot better than
they would be if
my teacher hadn’t told me I was dumb.)
I
have been rejected for multiple jobs, failed tests, and dropped out of classes. There
are a lot of
things I really suck at! But at the end of the day I do not let these
things define me.
I
let them motivate me!
And you know what? There are actually a couple things I am really great at.
6)
Home will always be where the heart is.
No
matter how much I resented my little hometown growing up, out of all the
places I have traveled
to since moving out, it is always my favorite place to
visit.
As
you age there is no better feeling than being home. Driving past my old high
school, a quick
glance at my ex boyfriends house, the baseball field I slept
on over night with my girlfriends, the
ballroom that held my senior prom, the Red Robin where I spent
my 10th birthday, the canal I lost
my first dog in, and the rink I
spent countless
hours in. These are all the memories that gave me the
best childhood
ever and never again will I take my hometown for granted.
7)
College isn’t the only time to find your soul mate.
I
am twenty-three and I have friends that are married, with kids, or still dating
their high school
sweetheart.
I
sit at airports, coffee shops and parks admiring the grins on couples
that cross my path.
There
are days I really question my self worth because I am still single.
Days
like those are no fun.
But I
think I had an “ah-ha” moment my senior year of college.
“Singlehood”
is literally your only time in life that it is acceptable to be selfish.
I have embraced my selfish years. I know
I want kids and a husband someday. But as for right
now, the only person I
really have to take care of is myself.
Everyday goes according to my plans.
If I want to sleep in till noon on a
Saturday I can do so in complete silence without anyone judging
my lack of productivity.
I go out or stay in on Friday nights due to my mood. I let my dirty
dishes
pile up with no one complaining. And in my opinion, everything I do
is right! HA!
Of
course there is occasional loneliness when you are single. We are humans.
But
I hear mothers and wives joke in conversation about how they’d do anything
to get a moment
of their life back. Or how they wish they would
have finished college or took that promotion
when they had the opportunity.
Being
in that moment of life right now, I am going to Live.
It. Up.
I
do not want to look back and have regrets. I want to be able to tell my kids someday
that I
worked my booty off in my twenties. I achieved a successful career
and education before I became
their mommy.
8)
Everyone has his or her own idea of the American
Dream.
My
last take away would be don’t go after a career just for the income .The goal
in life should
never be wealth. Because...
A)
Money does not buy you love, happiness, and fulfillment.
AND
B)
Everyone has their own idea of the American Dream so go after yours.
xo, ashlee
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